Toronto's Twilight press day was a swirl of Bride of Frankenstein hair, Tammy Faye eyelashes and stilettos climbing to the sky. People ran around frantically whispering into phones while a big burly bodyguard milled around. It was so frenetic I wondered why the interviews were conducted in an open plan three-story boutique hotel.
Poor Robert Pattinson had to concentrate on various TV interviews while journalists incessantly trampled across the floor below, greeting and loudly air kissing one another.
The stars of the film were the least problematic elements of the whole affair. It was the marketing machine that drove us all loopy. Kristen Stewart ("Bella"), Nikki Reed ("Rosalie") and Robert Pattinson ("Edward Cullen") seemed to be making the best of an exhausting situation.
The girls entered the journalists' holding cell and picked at the vegetables and fruit on the buffet table (while the rest of us scarfed down the gourmet cookies). They had both been dolled up with gravity-defying do's, jeans so tight they may have been painted on and those sky high heels that are currently all the rage.
They range in age from their late teens to their early 20s, but I couldn't help but feel these girls were playing dress-up - play-acting as prostitutes in a forgotten film noir. When the quiet Stewart ordered a breakfast of eggs and bacon, I wondered where she was going to hide it. Perhaps in her coif?
While the women of Twilight were ubiquitous in the hotel suite, Pattinson seemed to be perenially off in a corner talking quietly to some journalist or another. As such, the only time I really saw the 6-foot British star was when he passed me on the staircase up to the third floor.
While everyone else had been powdered and pouffed within an inch of their lives, Pattinson had only really been freshened up. I imagined, from previous interviews I had read, that he had refused to have too much done. Pattinson, primarily a theatre actor, seems rather resistant to the marketing ploys of the movie studio.
He walked past me, quietly, like a ghost, rather pale and devastatingly beautiful. If this is what teen girls are falling in love with these days, I guess Twilight can't be all that bad. As this generation's answer to Heathers bad boy anti-hero Jason Dean, you could do a lot worse than Pattinson.